Going through a divorce is up there in the top five hardest, most emotionally demanding things to do in life. Not only are you grieving for the past that you have lost but equally for the future that you will have planned in your mind and even discussed with your now estranged partner. Often I have people say to me “I didn’t enter into marriage lightly, it was for life,” and my reply is always the same: “I don’t know anyone who entered into a marriage not thinking it was for life”. For good or bad, a divorce will mean that we are probably losing our comfort zone and our “other half”. Even if that other half is not comfortable or healthy anymore, it is still what we are accustomed to and comfortable with.

Suddenly finding ourselves alone, with half our identity, that we perhaps spent years merging into, gone, can be a horror-stricken place. We can’t go back to being the person we were before we married, especially if we got married years previously, changed, maybe even had children, but neither do we know how to go forwards. Not knowing our new identity and individuality can be terrifying. That combined with some outdated societal views that one becomes sad, bitter, or twisted after a divorce means that all we can often see is a black tunnel with no end.

Navigating your life after divorce can look like an insurmountable climb to the top of the mountain. But it doesn’t have to be, especially when working with a Divorce Life coach. Divorce life coaching can help you look at life as it is now and create a renewed perspective of yourself as well as gaining a more positive outlook on your life moving forwards.

Time Will Always Heal

There are many-layered, complex reasons why couples get divorced – from unmet expectations, poor communication, different values after children, couples growing into different people with different directions, to control, abuse, unreasonable behaviors, and infidelity.  All these actions can unbalance you emotionally and cause you not to see the light or the way out. Divorce Coaches help you to face your grief, rebalance yourself emotionally, gain clarity, and eventually a healthy perspective to move forwards. Pain, turmoil, frustrations, and sadness don’t necessarily always heal over time: often people just suppress them and this results in the emotions manifesting in other ways such as in diseases and health issues. Divorce Coaches – especially those with a strong background in CBT or Compassion-Based Therapy –  can help provide the support you need to process your emotions, let them go and move on to thrive in your new life and your new role.

Rediscovering Yourself

Those who do not work with a Divorce Coach during the process itself, once those final papers arrive, often find themselves at a loss with what to do with themselves, not because they have nothing to keep themselves busy with but usually because they have spent the last 18 months to two years concentrating solely on the process of divorce and neglecting the rest of their life.  Divorce Life Coaches are by far the best resource not only to declutter the negative emotions of the situation but to guide you into rediscovering yourself and developing a better version of you and your life moving forwards. They assist you in learning what your true values are, in prioritising what is important to you and what will make you happy so that you go forwards spending your time productively and in a fulfilling manner.

The idea that people can’t change who they are is unfortunately one that is still prevalent in many parts of society. As long as you are willing to embrace the process, people can and do change for the better all the time and divorce often leads you to the best version of yourself if you are willing to put the work in.

A Positive Reinforcement

Going through a divorce is a time where we often seek validation for our actions. It is a lengthy, costly, and scary process and one that more than likely you will not have gone through before. This means that you will have little or no current experience to know if you are making the right or wrong choices. Often the person is relying on family or friends to guide or help and either these well-meaning people will themselves have no experience of divorce or they will have an outdated experience as divorce processes and laws evolve constantly. Sometimes you may rely on the advice of someone who has gone through the divorce process quite recently but every divorce is different and only after you have seen a few can you begin to see the trends and the patterns. A Divorce Coach will have a wide experience of the process, the practicalities and the emotions involved, and can provide the advice, the help, and the positive reinforcement both during the divorce process and for life after. This, in turn, enables you to make smart decisions when navigating life during and after divorce.

Thrive And Be Happy

More than anything, divorce life coaches help you focus on the future. They do not let you cling on to the past and dwell on things that can only bring misery and discomfort. They don’t ignore these either and try to tell you to suppress them. They declutter the past so that you can throw that misery and discomfort down the river, be free of it, feel lighter, and have the bandwidth to grow, thrive, and be happy again. A Divorce Coach supports you with plotting a future for yourself, discovering your values, and setting your priorities.

A good Divorce Coach will also help you navigate the divorce waters for your children and guide you with the best parenting tools so that your children can also thrive in their own lives after divorce. With the guidance of a Divorce Life Coach, you’ll set achievable goals for you as an individual, as a parent, and for your children so that you can push through the right direction, towards a thriving and fulfilling life.

In her recent YouTube commencement speech, the former first lady, Michelle Obama focused on the state of uncertainty that the current times have brought to our lives. She said she felt just as confused, overwhelmed and angry as everyone else and suggested leaning into the latter, calling it, “a powerful force.”

“There will always be those who want to keep you silent, to have you be seen but not heard, or maybe they don’t even want to see you at all,” Obama said. “But those people don’t know your story, and if you listen to them, then nothing will ever change.”

Being a woman in this day and age, being told you can have it all but then realising that probably there are not enough hours in the day to do it all, is hard enough without the current changes in the world which have stripped many of us of all the superficial stuff and made most of us have a long hard look at the most basic essence of who we are. In essence, if we think about it, it’s the very fundamentals of womanhood – being dynamic, highly intuitive, deep thinkers with above-average emotional intelligence – that allows us to wear many hats, rise above adversity, defy expectations, and empower each other. And it is that essence that also makes us stop and think about who we really are and want to ask and answer those difficult questions of what is our true purpose in life.

What Is Women Empowerment?

Women’s empowerment goes beyond just being a catch-phrase, a theme, or a slogan. It is more than a social construct created by fellow women. Women’s empowerment is a powerful tool used to encourage women to overcome what society expects of them to believe in themselves and their true worth. Nobody gives us power, we give it to ourselves in order to be the best we can be so that we can then give the best version of ourselves to our family, our children, our community, our society, and the world.

Women’s empowerment is synonymous with human rights. By empowering women we are ultimately empowering all individuals regardless of economic status, race, gender, sexual orientation, disabilities, religion, and cultural practices.

But to the extent that you wouldn’t be asking your best friend or your family to fix your car if it broke down – unless they were a mechanic of course – neither should you leave your self-development and your self-growth to your family or friends who are usually neither professionally trained or equipped in these areas. Partnering with a Life Coach will provide women the support, inspiration, and motivation they need to live a balanced and happy life.

What Are The Benefits Of Life Coaching For Women

The first step in benefiting from Life Coaching is to fully accept and acknowledge the different stages you have gone through on your personal journey and clear the negative thinking patterns that may have served you in the past but now clutter up your ability to move forwards. As women evolve from puberty, career, marriage, pregnancy, motherhood to menopause, they experience different physical and emotional stages, and with each comes many diverse ways to experience and think about life. Learning how to best thrive in each stage is paramount to our success.

Finding Stability

Women have long been acknowledged for being the masters of multitasking. Not only can we jump from one role to another but often we have no choice but to do so, as is prevalent currently during the lockdown where women have been working from home, running a household, and often taking the role of their children’s full-time teacher on top. No one is pretending that we do all this with ease – it has been incredibly hard for many – but more often than not we do it with grace. Nonetheless, even for the most resilient of us, things can sometimes become overwhelming – especially when finding a balance for everything. Life Coaching geared at women provides the support and guidance needed to create a life balance that’s manageable and empowering.

Women’s Needs Are Better Understood And Accommodated

In general, life coaching for women is specifically developed to cater to women’s needs, personal goals, and desires. Women tend to have higher EQ scores and hence are more emotionally focused than men. Developing strong interpersonal relations with themselves and the people around them are usually quite high on their list of priorities and with the right life coach, women can find exactly who their tribe is so that they surround themselves with the people who value them and share their values. This is different for everyone of course and there is never a one path fits all, but ultimately self-development work helps women create better career paths, work prospects, and build a network of relationships, trust, and shared experiences.

Final Words

At One Life Coaching we firmly believe that we are the resource that every woman needs and we look forward to breaking down each stigma and norm constructed by society against what women can and cannot do and getting rid of those limiting beliefs and negative thought patterns that we all inadvertently pick up along the way. Life and career coaches are there to help create a better perspective of what we want to do in life and how to make the best of it. The essence of being a woman is more than just a statement, it is a responsibility, and the best thing we can do for each other is to empower one another to the best version of ourselves whilst celebrating each other’s success.

A good friend of mine, who does a fair share of networking, recently told me that it feels like every third person he meets at an event is a Life Coach. I am inclined to agree; on Instagram, on Facebook, in fact on most platforms where one can advertise one’s services, there seems to be an array of Life Coaches calling themselves anything from Success Coaches, Empowerment Coaches to Happiness Coaches. Only recently the media in the UK reported that Life Coaching is one of the best earning careers where no qualifications are needed. So how do you know when a Life Coach is the real deal, or just someone out to make a quick buck and how do you know if a Life Coach is the right one for you?

Life Coaching is still not officially regulated or recognised as a profession, although it is thankfully becoming increasingly professionalised. We’ve all heard of people calling themselves a Life Coach when they have no accreditations whatsoever, as well as of “non-coaching” courses giving out certificates to say that the attendee is a now a Coach or even a Master Coach and even of coaching courses that concentrate on teaching the prospective coach on “how to market and sell your services” rather than on how to actually coach.

Recently I discovered the perils of a session which such a Coach. The person had their marketing down to a T, looked successful, genuine and sought after on all their platforms. I thought it might be someone I could collaborate with, so to test the waters I decided to book a session. My first red flag was during the initial phone call when they would not commit to giving me a pricing structure, instead inviting me to an initial free session to try it out. My second was when they couldn’t tell me an overview of how they worked and what the processes might be, again telling me to come to a free trial. My third was when I arrived in a coaching space that did not make me feel comfortable, safe or at ease. It seemed to me that very little attention, time or money had been spent on this space. My fourth was when I asked to see the Coaching Contract before we started only to be told “let’s just get on with it and we can talk later”. My fifth red flag came when I was just thrown into random exercises with no prior explanation of what was going to happen or even permission asked to proceed before each exercise. This Coach had sought no prior knowledge to examine if these exercises could or would be triggering for me. My sixth red flag was when at the end I was given the hard sell to commit to spending a huge sum of money for a Coaching Package Offer that would take place over a vague number of months, each session being a vague amount of minutes to hours – the explanation for which was that I, as a client, may be sometimes too tired to take up the whole number of hours or we may even be  finished early – and the whole thing would unroll organically. Had I been someone else, having had a few exercises that would have made anyone feel vulnerable, I would probably have fallen for spending that money in order to feel better about myself. My final red flag came a few days later when, not having taken the “Package offer”, I received the follow up hard sell email trying to persuade me that if I committed to spending that money, I would be showing myself that I was “worth it”.

As an experienced Life Coach, like many other genuine experienced Life Coaches, I am passionate about doing my bit to help Life Coaching become a recognised, regulated profession.  I’m not worried in this regard as when I received my first undergraduate degree in International Marketing, back in the day marketing was also not a recognised profession. We were encouraged to join the Guild of Marketeers in order to be regulated by a governing body and indeed the day did come where Marketing became recognised. And so it is for Life Coaching.

The good news is that there are several governing bodies, such as the ICF (International Coaching Federation) and the The Association for Coaching® (AC) that Life Coaches can be trained by, adhere to and be governed by, with strict rules and regulations. The Association for Coaching® (AC), for example, is a leading independent, not-for-profit professional body “dedicated to promoting best practice and raising the awareness and standards of coaching worldwide”. Their “purpose is to inspire and champion coaching excellence”.

I chose to be trained by and be a member of the The Association for Coaching® (AC) as they champion Coaching in the Wellness and Mental Health arena, the latter being one of my points of interest. They have very set prerequisites on how to progress from a Foundation Coach to a Professional Coach to a Master Coach, all of which require accountable number of coaching hours, professional development hours and accounted for supervision hours. For example, I am currently near to gaining my Master level, all of which is no mean fete as it involves:

• 1,500 hours of coaching clients
• 80+ hours of coach training
• Minimum of 12 months supervision
• 42+ hours for 3 years of continuous coaching development

As accredited and regulated Coaches, we are obliged to follow a set of Core Competencies and here in lies:

6 simple steps to finding a qualified Life Coach that is right for you

1) Make sure the Life Coach you choose is the one you are after.

Many Coaches specialize in one niche or another such as Careers, Well-being, Relationships and so forth. Equally though some coaches are multi-disciplinary, more than capable of specializing in all these areas and more, all of which are part of the bigger picture of LIFE. Both are perfectly acceptable, but the latter often comes with a greater breadth and depth of experience. Ask your Coach what their areas of specialty are and what experience and successes they have had and see if it matches with your expectations for the areas in which you want to see real changes in your life. My clients often have complex challenges in many parts of their lives, all interwoven like spaghetti in their head, and so they choose me as a coach with a wealth of experience in may areas of life.

2) Make sure the Life Coach you choose is properly trained and accredited.

Granted there are some globally famous Life Coaches where you wouldn’t necessarily have to ask that question, however the likelihood of you being Coached on a 1:1 level with them is quite frankly, minimal, in which case it is wise to ask your chosen Life Coach which Coaching professional body they are accredited to and regulated by and to what level. Depending on your current challenge you may be suited to a less experienced coach, which may be a more cost-effective option, or you may need a coach that has the experience to work on more complex, demanding and ambiguous issues.

3) Make sure the Life Coach you choose is happy to outline the tools and processes they will use.

This may seem like asking a car mechanic to outline what they are going to do to your engine, in the knowledge that you may not understand a word said but just as you can normally tell in a broader sense when a mechanic is evasive or talking sense, the same applies to your Coach. Coaching is based on scientific research and evidence based coaching models and other tools from other disciplines such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Acceptance Therapy, which have recently been proven to be of equal value when applied to the Coaching journey too.  You want your coach to apply techniques and methods that will help you reach your goals and your coach should be happy to explain this in layman terms. At One Life Coaching ME we use a variety of techniques based on clients’ needs as well as adhering to a broad structure that looks like this:

• Discovery: using an array of tools to assess the client’s current situation and where they may want to be in say 6 months or a years’ time, as well as how the partnership alliance will work between Coach and client moving forwards.
• Untangling: in-depth self-discovery to help eliminate negative thought patterns and limiting beliefs that may be holding the client back.
• Values based work: discovering the values that the client lives by and how these serve or don’t serve the clients current life to discover where the gaps are.
• Goal setting and planning: setting short-term, medium-term and long-term goals to move the client forward into action
• Accountability: Long term planning to ensure that the client remains on track.

4) Make sure the Life Coach you choose is happy to outline pricing structure.

All regulated Coaches are bound by their profession to be able to explain the pricing structure before you sign up with them. Some Coaches choose to structure their fees in a package – a total fee to be paid for x no of sessions up front – and some Coaches, like at One Life Coaching ME, will charge per session. Both structures are perfectly valid. We choose the latter as we want our clients to return because they see the benefit and positive effects the sessions are having on their lives and not because they have committed financially. Figure out if the Coaching sessions will fit your budget. At One Life Coaching ME we are not the cheapest, but we do deliver life changing results, as can be seen by our many testimonials on our website, Facebook page and LinkedIn.

5) Make sure the Life Coach you choose has a Coaching Contract ready for you to agree to and sign, before you start.

A Coaching Contract outlines such things as confidentiality, punctuality, payment and minimum number of sessions to see lasting results. As a client you are entitled to see this before you commit. Feel free to question any anomalies and only sign if you are happy to proceed.

6) Make sure the Life Coach you are choosing has regular supervision by an accepted supervisor.

Supervision is when a Coach brings their coaching experiences to a supervisor in order to be reflective in their own learning. This provides a safe space for the Coach to process the experiences they have had with their clients as well as to develop skills and understanding and it helps keep the Coach accountable for quality, work standards and ethical integrity. It also helps the Coach stay on top of their own well-being by being supported themselves. We cannot give the best of ourselves to others if we are not first taking caring of ourselves. At the AC a supervisor can be another Coach trained in supervision, a Therapist or a Psychologist. I chose a Dr of Psychology as the Life Coaching I regularly undertake with my clients is based around complex life issues. Feel free to ask your chosen Life Coach if they are supervised.

Finally use your first discovery session to see if you gel with your Life Coach, if you feel supported and understood in a nonjudgmental fashion and if you feel safe and at ease. You need to be able to take all your masks off to discover the real authentic you in order to become the best version of yourself.

Should I get a divorce?

If  this or even  “How do I get a divorce” are the foremost questions in your mind, a Divorce Coach can be instrumental in helping you answer them. The UK and the US have already learnt the many benefits of using a Divorce Coach but here in the UAE I still get people asking me, “Why bother with a Divorce coach?” Some even laugh at the idea, saying “surely a lawyer should be enough?” The answer is simple: divorce coaching will not only save you time, anxiety and worry about if you are doing the right thing, in the right way, with the right lawyer, it will also save you a fortune in legal fees in the long run. My clients who have found me after trying to go it alone all say “I wish I found you earlier” and “Why don’t you shout louder about what you do?”

Here are the 7 steps to help you make the best of this difficult and traumatic situation

Step 1: Marriage Assessment

When you turn up on my doorstep for the very first time I begin by giving you the space and the tools to understand your own situation from all perspectives. Together we look at why your marriage is still alive or inversely what has killed it. Is it love, is it fear, is it financial stresses (to name but a few factors) that are keeping you there?

This is when a good Divorce Coach can figure out if you really need to go down the divorce route or if reconciliation is a possibility. Turning up to a lawyer at this stage, signing on the dotted line, and realising later that a divorce was not quite what you wanted, or even, going through that “start the process, hold the process, start the process, hold the process” journey with a lawyer can be an expensive, draining and anxiety riddled path and often leads to bad judgements and costly outcomes.

When an in-depth discussion shows that there is a marriage to save, we can take steps to salvage your relationship. I’ve helped save countless marriages at this stage which, personally, is the outcome I find the most rewarding. If this is your case we work together on your self-esteem, confidence and self-beliefs so that you are in the best place mentally to face marriage reconcilliation. Once ready we ask your spouse to join us . If you are comfortable with yourself at this stage we ask the spouse to join us for marriage reconciliation straight away.. If your spouse is reluctant to seek outside help and won’t be joining us any time soon, we work on a staying in the marriage plan, which gives you the tools to take back to your marriage and help salvage it that way.

Let’s be realistic though, not all relationships can be saved. Some may have a distinct lack of respect, honesty, trust or love, some are toxic, some unhealthy for all concerned, and some even downright dangerous. If this is the case for you then we move onto step 2.

Step 2: Develop a safety plan and an exit plan

In order to make rational decisions which are not fear based, the first step in this process is to ensure that you are in a safe place, both physically and psychologically. As divorce is one of the most stressful decisions you’re likely to ever make, removing the fear from the process can be near on impossible if you’re going it alone. Finding a good Divorce Coach to help appease your fearscan ultimately lead to  more successful outcomes and more succesful life. Inversely, without the right support your fears may become so stressful that they turn into anxiety and panic.

The right support at the right stage, is a huge part of this process, but the wrong support at this stage can be hugely detrimental too. Some people think seeing a doctor to get medication may help at this stage but in reality it is only serving as a temporary plaster to mask the wound and may even turn into an unnecessary crutch. Some people think a lawyer may seem like the right person at this stage, able to clarify all, but having worked closely with many great lawyers over the years, they willingly admit that they are trained to look at the worst possible scenarios, so seeing a lawyer whilst you are still fearful may result in a very expensive way to confuse you and further fuel your fears. Some people believe that researching on the internet at this stage may be helpful. Yes, collecting the correct information is indeed empowering but, like the lawyers that are trained to give you the worse possible scenarios, the media and the internet are also full of the worse possible stories – scandalous stories that are not representative of reality. This can further fuel your fears. Talking to family and friends lies at the basis of building up your resilience and is indeed part of the 7 steps but sometimes at this early stage it can also be detrimental to talk to certain people who may end up deflecting their own fears of divorce onto you. This is natural because they care for you, love you and don’t want to see you come to any harm, but deflecting their fears onto you may leave you feeling even more vulnerable.

The best divorces I’ve seen are when people take their time, chose a good Divorce Coach to help them conquer their fears, and base their decisions on rational wants and needs. Admittedly a counselor can also be instrumental in helping you conquer your fears but what many of my clients have said is that it is the unique combination of emotional work and practical work toghethr with the insights into the process of divorce that is invaluable in helping them appease their fears and move them forwards.

Practical work can be very empowering as the right information can lead to the right decisions. This includes looking at what your children’s needs are both emotionally and practically; the best ways to help and support your children through this; your living needs; your financial needs, including your schedule of expenditure, what each jurisdiction can offer, which jurisdictions that you are entitled to and what jurisdiction may be the best to serve you. You can of course do the financial work and the jurisdiction work with a lawyer but the lawyers that I work with closely themselves say that doing this work with a trained and experienced Divorce Coach is a no brainer for everyone concerned. They call it a win-win situation as you spend a third of the money getting all your ducks lined up whilst they end up with a client who is prepared, rational and knows what they need to move forwards.

Step 3: Use Cognitive Behavior Coaching tools to tackle all other negative emotions

As we know, negative emotions can lead to misjudged decisions. During the divorce there can be any number of these that you will go through from grief, despair and guilt to shame and sadness. A good Divorce Coach will work through these, helping you change your perspective to a more positive one. After all none of these negative emotions are actually helpful to you or your situation but it can be near on impossible to tackle them alone.

Step 4: Build up your network of support

By now you will be in the right frame of mind to begin seeking the right support that will empower you to move forwards positively. Having already worked closely with your Divorce Coach to know what it is you need to move forwards, this is the perfect time to find yourself the right lawyer that suits your divorce needs. This puts you in the position where you are able to clearly instruct your lawyer and work with them to meet your best interests, rather than the lawyer instructing you. Being clear in what you want also allows you the space to be able to judge if you like the lawyer you meet, can trust them and will be able to work closely with them – after all the lawyer you chose is going to be instrumental in helping you decide the rest of your life. I’ve met with clients who hired the first lawyer they saw, even though their gut was screaming at them that this was not the correct lawyer for them, but because they were scared as well as having paid that hefty initial fee to meet, they went ahead anyway . This then leads to an acrimonious relationship with your lawyer, which quite frankly, on top of the acrimonious relationship that you are already probably having with your estranged spouse, this is the last thing you need.

Many lawyers have approached me over the years to partner up with me and work with my clients. What I have learnt is that there is no “one lawyer fits all”. There are many types of brilliant lawyers for many different types of cases and personalities. Some people may need a more moderate and conciliatory approach, some may need a more forceful approach, whilst some may need a bit of both. A good Divorce Coach will have a list of such lawyers that can be recommended to you, saving frustrations and wasted time, as well as a fortune in initial consultation fees, as you won’t need to go through lawyer after lawyer to find the right fit.

This is also a good time to really be talking to your family and friends , when you are  a little clearer  so hopefully leaving them with no doubts that you are doing the best thing for you and your family, helping to appease their own fears, and wholeheartedly support you. Of course there will always be negative, fearful and pessimistic characters out there. If these people are in amongst your support network, you may need to ask yourself if they are serving you well for the moment?

Friends and family are irreplaceable but sometimes they feel helpless to help you, especially if they haven’t any experience of the divorce process themselves or if they are far away, as in the case of many expats in the UAE. Finding a support group with members that are themselves going through or have been through the same process can be invaluable at this stage. Sharing experiences can lead to feelings of empowerment and hope, rather than feelings of despair, which are never helpful.

As there were no support groups for people going through divorce in the UAE I co-founded Leaves Dubai over 3 years ago precisely for this reason. The group meets once a month, is free, and anyone who is going through the divorce process or has been through the divorce process, regardless of what jurisdiction they used or are using, is welcome. The group setting is friendly and informal, allowing us to share stories and experiences and hopefully learn from each other and spread hope.

Step 5: During the divorce process – focus on your strengths, resilience and resources and on the rest of your life

As we go through the divorce process we often dedicate all our time and energy on the negative state of our failed relationship and we shift our focus away from career, fun and leisure, health and wellbeing, money, family and friends, hobbies, and home, to name but a few. Our outlook on life becomes unbalanced. A good Divorce Coach will use tools that will enable you to move your life forwards in all these other areas. You begin to have more balance and not see your divorce as the be all and end all of your life.

Step 6: During the divorce process – practice using coping techniques

The divorce process can often seem like two steps forward and one step back. This means that progress can be frustratingly slow which allows fears and negative emotions to rise to the surface time and time again. A good Divorce Coach will help you to learn coping techniques such as mindfulness and breathing exercises to reduce stress, visualization techniques to picture the future, and help you learn how to speak to yourself with compassion and wisdom so that you are able to remain positive and administer self-care.

Step 7: Exiting the situation positively

Divorce is one of the most stress filled situations you could go through. Handled badly it can leave you with a life that wasn’t at all what you wanted, maybe in financial dire straits, maybe with emotionally scarred children, or with physical illnesses that have born of stress. Handled well, it can lead you to the best life you could ever imagine and to the most successful version of you. Many of my clients have gone on to be far more successful than they could have ever dreamed of and all involved (spouses, children, themselves) have ended up far happier with a healthier relationship for all concerned than they could ever have imagined. As I said at the beginning, sometimes a marriage is far more toxic to all concerned if kept alive than if dissolved. Mostly when that last divorce paper hits that mat, rather than going into crisis and despair, my clients have already made that jump into their new happy lives so thankfully it’s very much a non-event.

This brings us full circle back to our initial question of “Should I get divorced” or even “How do I get divorced?”.

To me, the best answer to both these questions will always be invest in a good Divorce Coach.