Embark on a Journey to Rediscover Life’s Purpose

In the realm of popular media, we often witness characters seeking solace in drastic life changes, be it relocating to new places, changing careers, or diving into new relationships as if these external shifts can serve as a panacea for their internal struggles. Similarly, societal advice tends to echo the sentiment that external pleasures like shopping, nights out, holidays, weight loss or life milestones such as promotions, homeownership, or having children will magically elevate our inner well-being. The truth, however, is that these external factors offer only a temporary respite, and once the initial excitement wanes, we will undoubtedly find ourselves wrestling with familiar feelings of sadness or confusion, perhaps even intensified by the challenges of adjusting to newfound circumstances.

Significant shifts in employment, location, or personal relationships have the power to disrupt the very foundations of our lives, propelling us into greater states of uncertainty and feeling lost. These changes, while promising on the surface, can shake the core of our identity, destabilize routines, and prompt profound self-reflection.

When facing such upheavals, the inclination is often to seek support from close friends and family. However, their caring intentions tend to inadvertently cloud their objectivity, rendering them either too invested in the situation or worse still deflecting their beliefs or their fears onto us. Relying on friends and family to discover our life’s purpose is akin to expecting them to fix our car when they’re not mechanics – sincere in their efforts but lacking the expertise.

Recognizing therefore the value of investing in ourselves with professional help is imperative during our transformative periods. At One Life Coaching, we understand the intricate nature of navigating life’s complexities. Through a unique combination of therapy informed coaching, our experts provide a structured and empathetic space to help you not only weather the challenges of change but also discover your inner strength and forge a path toward success tailored to your unique needs and aspirations.

1. Navigating Life’s Changes

Life’s journey often takes unexpected turns, and it’s not uncommon to feel adrift in the midst of significant shifts. Whether you’re contemplating a new city, career, or relationship, it’s essential to recognize that real change begins from within. While the media often portrays external shifts as a quick fix, the truth is, that the journey to true happiness involves understanding and addressing internal struggles. Consider this: wherever you go, your inner self accompanies you. Seeking support from professionals can be the key to unlocking lasting transformation, guiding you through the complexities, and helping you build a foundation for genuine fulfillment.

2. Escape or Transformation?

The allure of a fresh start in a new place or career is undeniable, yet the media often overlooks a crucial reality – changing your external surroundings won’t automatically bring lasting happiness. It’s like rearranging furniture in a room; the view may change, but the essence remains. If you’re feeling lost or overwhelmed, remember that true transformation requires looking within. Seeking professional support isn’t admitting defeat; it’s a courageous step towards understanding and addressing your internal landscape. When the luster of the newness fades, investing in your inner self becomes the beacon that guides you toward a genuinely fulfilling life.

So how do we help you find the life you desire?

1. Learn what gives your life meaning and purpose

We guide you in exploring your sense of purpose, helping you make choices that align with your aspirations.

2. Uncover the barriers hindering your progress

We help you to explore your own unconscious behavioural patterns – such as limiting beliefs and sabotaging behaviours – that often constrain you without you even being aware of them, undermining your path to a healthy, fulfilling, and successful life. We guide you in understanding these patterns and empower you to liberate yourself from their constraints permanently.

3. Learn what are your unmet needs that require attention

We provide a safe space to identify and address unmet needs, fostering self-awareness and promoting personal growth.

4. Learn emotional intelligence

We enable you to delve into recognizing and regulating your emotions, without resorting to the common pitfalls of ignoring them, suppressing them, or negatively reacting to them. We guide you in developing the skill of navigating your emotions with awareness, fostering a harmonious relationship with yourself. Embracing emotional intelligence allows you to authentically engage with your feelings, leading to a more balanced and empowered approach to life’s challenges.

5. Become your authentic self

As an invaluable bonus to learning emotional intelligence, you will embark on a journey to unveil your authentic self, shedding the masks that may have obscured your genuine identity. Through this transformation, you will organically cultivate the qualities of a true leader— positivity, authenticity, and magnetic charisma – creating a powerful ripple effect in your personal and professional spheres. Embracing authenticity becomes not only a personal triumph but also a catalyst for inspiring those around you.

6. Reflect on Your Values and Goals

Once you have unburdened yourself of what was holding you back, learnt to live in an authentic way, we are now ready to reflect on your core values and long-term goals to make sure that your current pursuits contribute to your overall life objectives. Understanding these fundamental aspects can provide clarity and guide your decisions.

7. Set Small, Achievable Goals

We help you break down your larger goals into smaller, more manageable tasks. We give you the tools that allow you to give gratitude and to celebrate your achievements along the way. This approach not only helps in maintaining motivation but also allows you to track your progress, giving you a sense of accomplishment.

8. Embrace Change

We help you cultivate a mindset that welcomes change. Rather than resisting the ebb and flow of life, we equip you with the necessary tools to shape a journey where you are the captain of your ship, yet adaptable enough to gracefully navigate the unforeseen twists that life may present. We encourage you to perceive these unexpected challenges as opportunities for profound personal growth. Indeed, the ability to adapt becomes a precious skill, empowering you to not just survive but thrive in novel and demanding environments.

Conclusion

Feeling lost is a natural part of life’s journey, but it doesn’t have to be a permanent state. Our unique combination of therapy-informed coaching can serve as the most invaluable tool in navigating your life. Incorporating One Life Coaching Middle East into your journey can provide the support needed to rediscover your purpose and unlock your fulfillment.

Contact Us for Professional Guidance at One Life Coaching Middle East: Your journey to rediscovery is unique. With our professional help, we will make it transformative. Contact One Life Coaching Middle East for personalized support in unlocking your potential and embracing a more fulfilling life.

Why Consulting a Divorce Coach Before a Lawyer Is Crucial to this Journey

With the arrival of the New Year and the tradition of setting resolutions, a global trend has emerged – January has unofficially become known as the International Month of Divorce. 

This period often begins with the holiday season where family gatherings and festive events bring underlying relationship problems to the forefront, magnifying existing marital strains, leading some couples to reassess their situation. 

Following the Holiday season comes January,  a time to evaluate our life goals. Although people never envisage their marriage ending when they first make their vows, individuals in a fractious marriage often see the onset of the new year as an opportunity for new beginnings, including ending marriages that no longer resonate with their personal values. Conversely, some might find themselves in the unexpected challenge of their marriage ending, the decision being taken out of their hands. 

Navigating the emotional, practical, financial and logistical challenges of a divorce can be a taxing ordeal. One Life Coaching is here to provide the support and guidance you need, leading you towards a more fulfilling and happier life post-divorce.

Seeking Guidance Through the Complex Journey of Divorce and Separation

If you are facing divorce as your new reality, you probably will be feeling lost, anxious and most importantly fearful of what is to come. This sense of uncertainty is no doubt overwhelming. Navigating the complexities of divorce and separation is daunting! This may prompt you into a hasty decision to consult a lawyer in order to mitigate your anxieties and fears. This is when it is most crucial to seek proper guidance from a professional who can help you navigate all the complexities of divorce, not just the legal part.

Rather than concentrating only on the legal dimensions, it’s beneficial to seek advice from someone well-versed in all the nuances of divorce. This approach helps in addressing not just the legalities, but also the emotional and practical aspects of the situation.

Experienced Divorce Coaches Offer Comprehensive Guidance

At One Life Coaching, we understand the multifaceted challenges of this period and provide holistic guidance to help you – and where relevant your children – through these tumultuous times. Our focus is not just on the legal aspects, but also on the practical, financial and psychological well-being of everyone involved.

1. Shifting the Focus: From Panic to Informed Decision-Making

Running straight to a lawyer in the hope of alleviating anxieties and panic is a common response. However, taking a step back to focus on understanding your emotional, practical, and financial needs, your long-term goals, as well as the needs of your children, can lead to more informed decision-making. At One Life Coaching our experienced Divorce Coaches will offer you holistic solutions that look at Divorce from all angles: practical, financial, legal and emotional.

2. Recognizing the Emotional and Practical Overwhelm: A Common Experience

If you find yourself contemplating divorce for the first time, it’s entirely normal to feel emotionally and practically overwhelmed. The uncertainty of the path ahead can be intimidating, and it’s essential to acknowledge these feelings as part of the process. Our experienced Divorce Coaches at One Life Coaching will provide the support and guidance necessary to help you navigate the complexities involved. They will empower you to make well-informed decisions and face the challenges ahead with resilience.

3. Seeking Guidance: A Crucial First Step

In the midst of this turmoil, it’s crucial to resist the urge to rush straight to a lawyer. While legal advice is undoubtedly essential, seeking practical, financial, and emotional guidance is equally crucial. Before pursuing legal action, our Divorce Coaches assist you in taking proactive steps to address the issues arising from a marriage that has broken down. Through strategic planning, we help you make the necessary decisions that align with your long-term mental, physical, and financial well-being. This approach is essential both for a healthier transition through divorce, as well as to your post-divorce life.

4. Prioritizing Emotional Well-being: For Yourself and Your Children

Divorce encompasses more than just legal proceedings; it’s an emotional odyssey that demands careful consideration and empathy. When children are part of the equation, it’s crucial to thoughtfully maneuver through these challenges with their welfare in mind. Our Divorce Coaches at One Life Coaching play a key role in not only deciphering the intricacies of child custody but more importantly formulating practical co-parenting approaches – based on current research and good practises – that keep the wellbeing of the children at the forefront of the process.  Tackling these matters proactively not only helps reduce future disputes but also keeps the children’s needs and interests at the forefront of any decisions.

Empowering Your Divorce Journey: The Role of a Divorce Coach in Navigating Legal and Emotional Challenges

Navigating the complexities of divorce and separation demands a holistic approach. Starting with a divorce coach before consulting a lawyer can provide you with a foundation of knowledge, emotional support, and strategic planning, all crucial for a smoother legal process.

As you face the possibility of divorce this January, remember that you are not alone. The appropriate support from a divorce coach can help you address both the legal intricacies and the personal challenges, allowing you to come out stronger and more resilient. 

If you are ready to approach your divorce with a comprehensive and caring strategy, seeking support and exploring your options are key steps. For a thoughtful and well-guided journey through this significant life transition reach out to us today for expert guidance and support.

At One Life Coaching, we specialize in addressing the unique challenges that arise during relationship conflicts, particularly those leading to divorce. With over fourteen years of expertise in this field, our dedicated team of divorce coaches has empowered hundreds of clients, both in the UAE and internationally, to successfully navigate their divorce. Through our guidance, our clients have found renewed self-esteem, confidence, and authenticity, as we’ve helped them make positive strides in their journeys to a successful life post divorce.

We firmly believe that the foundation of a healthy post-divorce life starts with a well thought out transition through the process which looks at the complexity of separating through all angles. If you are considering a divorce –  or are in the process of one already – our team at One Life Coaching is here to offer you the necessary support and guidance for you – and your children – to be able to move towards a fulfilling, happy life post-divorce.

Neurodivergence is a term used to describe variations in neurological functioning, including differences in cognitive, sensory, and developmental processes. It encompasses a wide range of conditions, such as autism, ADHD, dyslexia, Tourette syndrome, and others.

Neurodivergent individuals may process information differently, have difficulty with social interactions, experience sensory sensitivities, struggle with executive functioning, or have other challenges. While neurodivergent individuals face such challenges, they also possess remarkable strengths and abilities associated with their condition.

Embracing neurodivergence involves recognizing and celebrating these strengths, which include:

• Unique perspectives: Neurodivergent individuals often perceive the world in different ways, which can lead to fresh and unique perspectives. This can be valuable in creative endeavours, problem-solving, and other areas where thinking outside the box is beneficial.
• Hyperfocus: Many neurodivergent individuals are capable of intense focus on topics of interest, which can lead to exceptional levels of skill and knowledge in those areas.
• Attention to detail: Neurodivergent individuals may be highly attuned to details that others may overlook. This can be useful in fields such as science, engineering, and art, where precision is important.
• Strong memory: Some neurodivergent individuals have excellent memories, allowing them to recall information and experiences in great detail.
• High levels of empathy: Some studies suggest that neurodivergent individuals may have higher levels of empathy and emotional intelligence than neurotypical individuals.
• Creativity: Many neurodivergent individuals excel in creative endeavours, such as art, music, business, and writing.

Of course, these are generalizations and not all neurodivergent individuals will possess these traits. Additionally, it is important to acknowledge that neurodivergent individuals may face significant challenges and discrimination in society. But overall, there are many positive aspects to being neurodivergent that are worth celebrating.

The concept of neurodivergence challenges the idea that there is a single, “normal” way of thinking and behaving, and instead recognizes the diversity of human experience. It emphasizes the importance of accommodating and valuing neurodiversity, rather than pathologizing or stigmatizing it.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Executive Function Coaching are two evidence-based interventions that can significantly benefit neurodivergent individuals. They address specific areas of difficulty and promote growth and well-being in the following ways:

Executive Function Coaching

Executive function refers to a set of cognitive processes that help us plan, organize, initiate, monitor, and adjust our behaviour in order to achieve academic, personal and professional goals. Neurodivergent individuals may struggle with executive function, which can make it difficult to complete tasks, manage time and stay organized. Executive Function Coaching involves working together to develop strategies for improving these skills. This may include creating routines, using visual aids, breaking tasks down into smaller steps, and developing personalized strategies and techniques.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

This form of therapy is focused on identifying and changing negative patterns of thinking and behaviour. CBT proves useful for neurodivergent individuals experiencing anxiety, depression, or other mental health conditions that may be comorbid with their neurodivergence. By addressing negative thinking patterns and developing adaptive coping strategies, we can help neurodivergent individuals manage their emotions and improve their overall well-being.

Through CBT and Executive Function Coaching we can help you or your child thrive, build skills and strategies to improve daily functioning and quality of life. We tailor these interventions carefully to the individual’s specific needs and goals and work collaboratively to provide the support and scaffolding necessary to achieve more independence, flexibility, and success.

In conclusion, by celebrating neurodivergence and leveraging evidence-based approaches, we unlock the full potential of neurodivergent individuals, enabling them to lead fulfilling lives.

Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, whether it’s a romantic partnership, a friendship, or a professional relationship. When two people with different perspectives and personalities come together, disagreements are bound to happen. However, conflicts don’t have to spell the end of a relationship or create a negative environment. In fact, navigating conflict in a healthy way can strengthen a relationship and deepen the bond between two people. 

Here are some tips for navigating conflict in your relationships.

Recognize that conflict is normal

The first step in navigating conflict in your relationships is to recognize that conflict is normal. In fact, it’s inevitable. No two people will always agree on everything, and that’s okay. Instead of trying to avoid conflict altogether, focus on learning how to handle it in a healthy way. This means recognizing both parties have valid perspectives and that there is room for compromise and understanding.

Communicate openly and honestly

Communication is key when it comes to navigating conflict. It’s important to be open and honest about your feelings and to listen actively to your partner’s perspective. When you’re in the midst of a disagreement, it can be easy to get defensive or shut down. However, this only serves to escalate the conflict. Instead, try to stay calm and focused on finding a solution that works for both of you.

Use “I” statements

When communicating your feelings, it’s important to use “I” statements instead of “you” statements. For example, instead of saying “You never listen to me,” try saying “I feel like I’m not being heard when we have discussions.” This takes the focus off of your partner and places it on your own feelings and experiences. Using “I” statements can help to prevent your partner from feeling attacked and can keep the conversation focused on finding a solution.

Take a break if needed

Sometimes, emotions can run high during a conflict, and it can be difficult to think clearly. If you find yourself getting overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break from the conversation. This can give you both time to cool down and think about what you want to say. Just make sure to set a time to come back to the conversation so it doesn’t get left unresolved.

Practice active listening

Active listening is an important skill in any relationship, but it’s especially important during a conflict. This means really tuning in to what your partner is saying, rather than just waiting for your turn to talk. It’s important to ask clarifying questions and to summarize what you’ve heard to make sure that you’re understanding your partner’s perspective correctly. Active listening can help to prevent misunderstandings and can show your partner that you value their perspective.

Look for a compromise

In any conflict, it’s important to look for a compromise that works for both parties. This means being willing to meet in the middle and to give a little to get a little. When looking for a compromise, it’s important to keep the big picture in mind. Is this conflict worth damaging your relationship over? In most cases, the answer is no. By focusing on finding a compromise, you can strengthen your relationship and deepen the bond between you and your partner.

Don’t hold grudges

It’s important to let go of any grudges or resentment that may have built up during a conflict. Holding onto negative emotions can damage your relationship and can prevent you from moving forward. Instead, focus on forgiveness and on finding a way to move past the conflict. This may mean apologizing for your role in the conflict or letting go of any hurt feelings. By doing so, you can strengthen your relationship and build a stronger foundation for the future.

Seek professional help

If you feel like you’ve tried everything to resolve the conflicts in your relationship, it might be time to seek professional help. At One Life Coaching, we understand the emotional challenges of navigating conflict in your relationship. With more than ten years of experience, we have assisted hundreds of clients in resolving their relationship challenges and regaining their self-esteem, confidence, and sense of authenticity. We take pride in empowering hundreds of individuals in the UAE and around the world with the necessary tools to achieve positive outcomes in their relationships.

Our team believes that happy and lasting relationships start with two happy individuals, and we empower our clients to realize that happiness comes from within. When you’re ready to seek professional help, please don’t hesitate to contact our team. We are here to guide and support you in your journey towards a mentally healthier and happier life.

If you have just had the courage to leave a toxic relationship, the process of healing can feel insurmountable. You may feel like you will never again feel like a mentally healthy version of yourself. Please remember, not only are these feelings normal, but you are also not alone. At One Life Coaching, we help our clients navigate and fully eliminate any blocks resulting from their toxic relationships so they can live a happy and meaningful life. 

Whilst everyone’s recovery is different, here are some tips you can follow to help you understand if you are currently in a toxic relationship, how you may have fallen into such a place, and equally how you can begin to heal.

What is a toxic relationship?

All relationships have their ups and downs but in healthy ones the people involved support one another, find a way to resolve challenges and disputes, and have healthy ways to come back to a space of agreement and peace. In a toxic relationship, it feels more like you are on a rollercoaster of emotions, and you can neither get a grip of nor come off the ride. Although the highs can be intoxicating, the ascent to the highs can be as terrifying as the drops to the lows. The drops to the lows, as well as the actual time in the lows, can seem longer than is necessary for the event that caused it. A toxic relationship is consistently distressing. You feel like your energy is drained and you are living in a state of high alert and/or anxiety. This can have negative effects not only on your mental well-being but also on your nervous system and your physical health too. 

All relationships tend to start, on the surface at least, in what seems like a healthy manner, after all, no one willingly walks into a toxic relationship from the onset. Over time, when you have become so invested in this relationship that you perceive there is no turning back, this is when relationships truly become toxic. 

When we speak of a toxic relationship, many people assume this only happens in a romantic relationship. However, any close relationship can be toxic, whether it is romantic, parent/child, between family or in-law relatives, and even at work between work colleagues or hierarchy dynamics.  

Common signs of a toxic relationship

Consistent unhappiness, uneasiness, or anxiety 

Healthy relationships give you a feeling of calm. A feeling of finding your safe space, and of being uplifted and upheld. You feel equal and respected, and a general feeling that you have come “home.” On the other hand, if you feel any of the following, you may be in a toxic relationship:

• Consistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, anger, or frustration
• Negative shifts in your energy or personality
• Low self-esteem and/or low confidence
• Feeling on edge around the other party in your relationship or, paradoxically, feeling calm when you are around them and constantly on edge when you are away from them
• Develop health concerns that get worse over time·      

Isolation in the relationship

Healthy relationships are not only when the parties involved enjoy shared time and shared interests together, but they are equally as happy for the other person to have friends and interests outside the relationship. In a toxic relationship, a partner may become possessive. At first, this may occur under the guise of wanting all your time because they love spending so much time with you. Over time this may become more abusive, flatly not permitting you to see others. 

In toxic relationships, the other person in the party may isolate you from your friends and family by slowly picking holes in the other people’s personalities and/or intentions. This causes you to willingly question people whom you once believed were positive and good to be around. It may cause you to begin to distance yourself voluntarily. 

As well as slowly distancing you from past and current friends, they will begin to pick holes in any new potential friends and discourage you from pursuing relationships with them. There is always something wrong with everyone around. This serves the other person well as your community is your resilience. Isolating you from others will weaken your self-belief and self-confidence and hence allow the other person to manipulate you in whatever way they wish. 

These actions are typically carried out slowly, drip by drip, over a long period of time. It can be hard to even be aware this is happening. If this has happened to you, forgive yourself and reach out to the people that were once in your life. They will probably surprise you by being understanding of the situation, compassionate, and a pillar of strength for you whilst you rebuild yourself. Spend your time with people who understand you are healing and trying to move forward. Don’t jump into another relationship. Instead, focus on doing the work on yourself and finding inner contentment and your own direction in life. Do you and only you for a while!

Your partner calls you names and puts you down

In a healthy relationship, the general rule of thumb, as long as it is not intentionally hurting yourself or others (physically, emotionally, verbally or psychologically), everything is okay. In a toxic relationship, your partner will begin to attack you emotionally, verbally, or psychologically (and sometimes physically) by calling you names, devaluing your opinions, your interests, your values, who you are at the core and even your job or your appearance. 

As by now you will probably be isolated from your community and any voice of reason, you may begin to believe and accept what they say and so your confidence/self-esteem will begin to erode. Again, this is done insidiously at first, barely noticeable, and often put in a way that these “negative comments” are for your own good. It’s usually much later when these behaviours become overt and in your face. If this has happened to you, forgive yourself and begin to remember what was good about yourself pre-relationship. It was not your fault that you went to this place, it’s easy to fall into these toxic relationships, but it is you alone who can begin the path to heal and grow again.

Your partner constantly checks in with you

In a healthy relationship, you and your partner will probably communicate a fair amount whilst you are apart. After all, you miss each other and it’s nice to know the other person is thinking of you. It’s also nice to know that you can reach out to them when they cross your mind, and bring a smile to their face. 

A healthy relationship is based on honesty, transparency, and trust, so this communication will feel like a light, fun, and loving act of wanting to be connected. In a toxic relationship, your partner may be constantly texting or calling you. You may even think this level of attention is sweet to begin with, but the real intention is usually to track your actions, track your location and track who you are with, all with the intention of having control over you. Again, this may start from a place that seems “cute,” so you may not even notice the slight. Over time this behaviour will become more direct, insistent, and transactional as time passes. They may also insist you check in with them frequently or even require you to send a picture for proof of where you are and who you are with. In the beginning, this may be under the guise that they “worry about you” if they don’t know what is happening. Yet, over time if you don’t do this, usually immediately, they will probably guilt trip you into believing that you are in the wrong for making them feel so bad. If this has happened to you, forgive yourself as there is such a fine line between being loving and controlling when it comes to communication over various social media platforms.

Feel your emotions

Once you have taken the courage to untangle yourself and you’ve walked away from a toxic relationship, logically you may understand that you are better off without them but this doesn’t make what you are feeling any less complicated. Leaving an unhealthy relationship can conjure a host of painful and confusing emotions. Give yourself time to process. This is the first step to healing. Toxic relationships affect us deeply on many different levels so unraveling your emotions around your experience can be like peeling an onion – once you think you’re okay, another layer of emotions might surface to need attention once again. This is normal. Give yourself time and space to feel this. Only then will you be able to fully let go.

Where possible find a professional to help you on this healing journey. A professional will give you many different perspectives, helping you to heal from these negative emotions that you are feeling, such as shame, guilt, sadness, remorse, resentment, anger, grief, anxiety, or depression, to name but a few. The last thing you want to do, having already suffered this toxic relationship, is to ignore or suppress these feelings and carry them into your new life or your next relationship. Take the time to heal and remember that healing doesn’t happen overnight. Allow yourself the time to process what you experienced and learned. Invest in yourself by journaling, meditating, and exercising. By taking time to process, heal, and move forward, you will be in a much better head space to find your own direction and your own inner happiness. Remember healing happens in baby steps, one day at a time. Be patient.

Avoid contacting your old partner

In a toxic relationship, where you have probably been forced to account for your whereabouts around the clock, and made to feel guilty if you didn’t, it will be natural to feel the urge to check in with your old partner after you break up. Your mind, on a conscious or even an unconscious level, may be so wired by now to feel guilty that it will lead you to believe that the guilt will be appeased if you contact them. 

This isn’t true. 

The real danger though is that once you do contact them you may be drawn back in. They may take the opportunity to “love-bomb” you which will feel good, like everything is fine again, and before you know it you will be back on the rollercoaster ride. Instead of reaching out to your old partner, seek strength and positivity from the community you are slowly building back up. They have your back and will support you.

Focus on what you have learned

As we have mentioned before, once you leave a toxic relationship and begin to see the reality of what you were in, it’s easy to beat yourself up for allowing yourself to have stayed in this place for so long. You’ve endured so much and it’s easy to berate yourself for having believed that you were a “strong” person and yet still you ended up here. As well as feeling all your emotions around this, begin to look at the situation with a different perspective to see what you have learned about yourself, about relationships as a whole and about life. 

For example, what were the “good parts” that kept you there, what were the tricks that undermined you, what were the traits that trod on your values and were totally unacceptable to you? Once you begin to look at the lessons you’ve learnt you can begin to build a more realistic picture of what you really want out of a relationship and what values and traits you wish your new partner to have and to uphold in you too. 

Seek professional help

At One Life Coaching, we recognize how emotionally challenging it can be to heal from an unhealthy relationship. With over a decade of experience helping people navigate their recovery around toxic relationships, we take great pride in providing hundreds of clients in the UAE and internationally with the tools needed to regain their self-esteem, their confidence and to find their authentic self. 

We understand that happy, lasting relationships always start with two individually happy people and as we like to say, happiness does not come from the outside, from other people or from a relationship, happiness is an inside job.   

When you are ready, please contact a member of our team. We are here to help and guide you into a mentally healthier, happier life.

When you get married, the idea of divorce rarely crosses your mind. Unfortunately, happily ever after is not always the ending to a love story. When it comes time to heal your heart and determine the next chapter of your life, contemplating your finances can make an already painful situation even more stressful and challenging. In addition to finding your footing in practical and emotional ways as a single person, you’ll have to consider how you will pay your bills moving forward, as well as what you are financially obliged to cover or entitled to claim from the divorce. With all the many moving pieces that accompany a divorce, it’s hard to know what to focus on. Today we will look at the top four vital strategies to overcome financial stress during your divorce.

Separate debt to financially protect yourself

Credit card and loan companies do not care about your divorce. They just want to collect on their unpaid debt. Unless you can leave your marriage with zero debt, you and your soon to be ex will be held liable for any debt that has been racked up on your jointly held accounts. Once you have both made the decision to divorce, be sure to cancel any joint accounts. In many cases, you can split the debt into two accounts to focus on paying your portion of the debt only. It’s important to avoid keeping joint cards, even with a verbal agreement to pay, because if your ex-spouse decides to bail on the payments, you will be left holding the bag. All these steps are useful to take, when applicable, before you go down the legal route. Once you involve a lawyer, it becomes incredibly expensive to navigate the separation of finances.

Separate joint savings and joint bank accounts before you start the divorce process. 

Divorces rarely take place overnight, and when a divorce is contested it can become delayed by months or even years. It’s essential that during this time you have access to a steady and reliable revenue stream, as any settlement or maintenance payment will not, for the most part, happen until the divorce is settled. Start by separating your joint current accounts and joint saving accounts so you both have equal shares in individual accounts under your own name. This will ensure your revenue stream is protected while the divorce lawyers work out the nitty gritty financial details of your divorce.

Comb through your assets

Separating assets is an important aspect to navigating your divorce. Most jurisdictions worldwide now work on the basis of “Marital Assets.” Ultimately, this means all assets in the marriage, regardless of whose name they are in, are shared and should be divided 50/50 in a divorce. Some jurisdictions still operate on the basis that any assets in your name are 100% yours and what is in your spouse’s name is 100% theirs. Thus, there is no division of assets. Before you apply for your divorce, be sure to understand how your jurisdiction handles division assets. We are happy to help you with this guidance.  

Regardless of which rule applies, it’s important you gain a thorough and accurate understanding of what is either yours or is marital assets. Make a line-by-line list of all assets, such as bank accounts, real estate properties, cars, jewellery, investments, etc. This will help you and your legal team to have a full understanding of what each party is entitled to during your divorce.

Know the cost of living for you and your children

Part of the financial divorce process is to know what it is you will need to either pay or to receive to account for cost of living. It’s surprising how many parents do not know the monthly cost of their children. In any divorce, the current standard of living of the children should be maintained, so it is important to know what this standard is in financial terms. 

If you have not done so already, have a financial monthly tracker (there are many apps available for this) to track every expense your children cost. From food to entertainment and schooling to technology, be sure to account for all their needs. Remember that children get more expensive as they grow older, and you need to take this into consideration. For example, if your children are very young and not yet at school, factor in their future educational costs as they grow up and become more financially demanding. So many people come to us here at One Life Coaching asking for help determining what they are entitled to. However, the better question is “what is it that I need for my children to continue with a similar standard of living.” Also, conducting a hands-on cash flow analysis will provide you with a sense of control over your financial situation. Be sure to account for your recurring expenses such as rent, utilities, and phone payment.

Divorce support with One Life Coaching

At One Life Coaching, we recognize how emotionally challenging the divorce process and life after divorce can be – especially in the case of expats, living abroad, without their trusted support network. Whether you need help navigating the challenges of your marital split, struggling during the division of assets, or adjusting to life finally as a single person, the professionals at One Life Coaching can help. 

With over a decade’s experience helping people navigate their divorce, we take great pride in having provided hundreds of clients in the UAE and internationally the tools to navigate their divorce and regain their self-esteem so that they embark on this new chapter of life fully equipped for success.

When you are ready, please contact a member of our team. We are here for you.

Raising a teen can be a real challenge, no matter how loving, caring, patient or well-informed you are as a parent. Between coping with the internal pressures of hormones and the connection of new emotional neurons – that one day connect and the next day disconnect – leading to mood swings that are unexplainable;  to the external pressures of academics, peers, social media and the state of the world, leading to the real fear of failure;  even the most well-adjusted teens struggle with the day-to-day aspects of their lives. As exciting as this time is in their life, everything inside them and around them is changing, making the transition from childhood to teen years a very challenging one.

Luckily, we as parents are there to pass on guidance, serve as positive role models and give them a safe space in which to push boundaries and grow. Yet this is harder than it may first seem. Not every teen is open to this guidance and support and to add to this very few parents in this day and age have lived through the pressures that our teens face. Most of us parents were not born into a world of constant social media, constant technology or constant exposure to a virtual world.  This can make for a strained relationship and unhealthy patterns of communication can build up between parents and their teens.  We at One Life Coaching are here to offer some helpful tips to allow you to understand your teen better.

Consider stages of development

There are many changes during the teen years. In the early stages of teens, these changes are more often than not hormonal. Hormones can and will affect mood swings. Later on, emotional neurons begin to connect in our teenagers’ minds. They begin to feel emotions in ways they have never felt before. This is why our first love was so potent. Often when these neurons are connecting your teenager will feel happy and when they disconnect temporarily they feel rubbish and they don’t understand why. Take the time to understand your teenagers developmental stages and these stressors that impact their moods. Understanding how your teen is developing will provide the background needed to help you rationalize and control your responses to their actions and behaviours.

Set boundaries

While there are varying parenting styles, a positive parenting style that is embedded in a values mindset, which then leads to boundaries that are fair and just to all, is the most effective parenting style to nurture happy and stable adults for the future. Healthy boundaries, born from authentic values, help children and teens know what is truly right from wrong, know that they are being brought up in an environment that is there to nurture them in a fair way and therefore help them feel safe. Setting limits that are born solely from our worries or fears as parents rather than our positive desires for our teens to succeed can be confusing to our teens and lead to misunderstandings down the road. Ask yourself why you are truly setting these boundaries before you do so and make sure they match up with the world in which your teen is living and not just based on your worries of another era. When you set limits, ask for your teen’s input. Teens, just as we as adults,  who feel ignored, shamed, or overlooked are more likely to be uncooperative, rebel or even find harmful or unhealthy ways in which to self-sabotage or sabotage the lives of those around them. 

Remember also that all teens will push limits,  it’s an integral part of growing and discovering themselves. The fact that they are pushing these limits within their own home is not a sign of disrespect. It actually means that you are doing your job right, you are providing them with a safe space within which to do this. In the teenage years, boundaries are there to be broken, to be discussed, to be reassessed and so for the trust to grow. Boundaries also need to evolve as your teenager evolves and earns more trust.  For example, the curfew for your 13 year old and the rules around them staying out will undoubtedly be different to the curfew for your 17 year old and the boundaries for them staying out. Make sure you as a parent are evolving with your teenager and not against them. Talk to them, discuss and make sure there are open lines of positive and calm communication. They may get angry or frustrated. It is our job to stay calm, as hard as that may be.

Be a positive role model

As a parent, you should be an example of what you expect from your teens. Teens won’t trust parents who say one thing and do another. Regardless of the type of parent you are, your children will always look up to you. This is why modelling the appropriate behaviour, emotional responses, and healthy coping mechanisms we want our teens to have for themselves is of paramount importance. It’s also important to model responsible use of social media. It’s no good limiting our teen’s screen times if they then see us on our screens 24/7. If we want our teens to develop genuine connections online, avoid dangerous situations online and build habits of turning off their devices to spend some time in the real world, we need to be doing the same. It should never be a case of do as I say, not as I do. 

Open communication

As with all relationships,  positive and open lines of communication is key! Your teen needs to trust that you will hear them and understand them when they communicate with you. They not only want to feel loved, they want to feel supported enough to be able to explore all these newfound feelings, worries and insecurities that they are living through, as they learn to see the world through a new and different lens. And remember that our teens also have a lot to teach us about the world of now. Be open to learning new points of view and new realities that maybe didn’t exist during our time as a teen. Help them share their interests and passions with you by being ready to listen to them with an open mind. Communicating with your teen will validate their feelings and make them more likely to approach you when they need to talk. And if the discussion gets heated or they get angry, allow them the time to walk away and walk back when they have calmed down. Teach them techniques such as counting to ten before they reply if they are angry so that they learn to take a step back, think about what they are going to say and respond rather than react.

Get to know your teen

It can be challenging for parents to accept that their teen is changing. They will no longer show interest in what they may have once enjoyed as a child. This is a normal part of growing up. If you want to understand your teen better, take the time to get to know them. Talk with them, and spend time with them. This will help you know what their current interests are. Teenagers need to be seen. This is especially important in a world with so much technology, which can distract us from really establishing and maintaining relationships. It’s easy to float through life without really knowing each other. What are your teens’ hopes, dreams, true talents, capabilities, and fears? Don’t simply look at your teen, but really see them and make sure they know you see them.

Maintaining a healthy relationship with your teen during their adolescent years will help you bridge the gap into adulthood. Sticking to the above tips will set you on the path to better understanding your teen during this exciting time in their lives.

Teens often don’t want to burden their parents with their worries and fears, If this is the case, at One Life Coaching we are here to be an objective voice and guide for your teenager to let go of any limiting beliefs and negative emotions that they may have picked up in their childhood, We are also here to help them set goals and aspirations for the future and to develop their confidence to believe that they can achieve anything they set their mind too. 

And as a parent, if you are struggling, we are here to look at those struggles and help you set your goals and aspirations for becoming the strong and fair parent that you want to be for your teen.

If you need that extra helping hand from a professional, we are here to help.

Going through a divorce is well known for being 80% emotional and 20% legal. It is up there in the top five most traumatic events anyone can face in life. It’s disruptive, can fill you with fear for the future as well as grief from the past. Negative emotions will surface during a divorce, there’s no way around that. At One Life Coaching, we have never come across a couple who did not marry for life so divorce is never on the cards as an easy way out for anyone we have ever met. Finding yourself in this situation is one of the hardest places you will ever find yourself to be in. It can drain you financially, emotionally, and physically as well as negatively impact your self-esteem. 

The good news is that there is life after divorce – there is joy, there is happiness and there is balance. At One Life Coaching, we are here to help you get back your self-esteem so that you live your best and most authentic life. Here are just a few tips on your way to finding happiness in your new role as a divorcee and/or single parent.

Stop thinking of your divorce as a failure

It’s a common myth in many societies to view divorce as a failure – let’s let go of that. A positive and successful marriage is indeed a blessing but these are not the marriages that end up in divorce. Usually, divorce is the “end result” of an unhappy union. You will probably have tried everything and anything to make this marriage work before you ever talked about divorce but it may simply be that in the end that you were an unsuitable match, making each other more miserable by the day. It happens. It’s not “divorce” that has made this marriage a failure, you probably have been struggling with it for a very long time before you ever got to Divorce.  Looking at this split from this different perspective helps: we have all been blessed with one life and one life only – our mission should be to honour this life and try our best to succeed at it by being the best version of ourselves. That might mean letting go of failed dreams but it also means honouring the life we have been blessed with by learning from our failures, refocusing our attention on new dreams and embarking on a new path with wisdom and lessons learnt. Your marriage ran its course. That does not mean you failed. Instead of viewing your marriage as a failure, consider the fact that you found the courage to leave an unhealthy relationship. This is a transition phase in your life. 

Grieve your loss

The loss of a marriage elicits the same emotions as the passing of a loved one so it’s important to grieve the loss of your union, be it grieving your spouse, grieving past events of your marriage or grieving future plans that you now will no longer have. Take time to work through the five steps of grief – denial, bargaining, anger, depression, acceptance, remembering that these steps are not linear or ordered and you can jump back and forth from one to another. If you fail to acknowledge and work through your feelings of grief, these unresolved negative emotions will follow you into your future life and may even impact your future relationships. It’s okay to mourn in order for you to eventually move forward to a place where you can remember – with a certain distant fondness – the positive aspects you enjoyed in your marriage. 

Make yourself the priority

As we all know, children are indeed a blessing, but that doesn’t stop them from taking up a significant amount of our time and energy. Sharing parenting duties under one roof means that we can often carve out time for ourselves. Being a single parent after divorce means doubling up on our energy and efforts towards our children, at least for the time they are with us. More than ever as a single parent it’s important to also make yourself a priority during this phase in your life. Children take on their parents’ moods by what seems like osmosis and they can see through us when we pretend to be happy but are not. By making yourself a priority, you will not only be the best version of yourself which will ultimately help your children, you will also be giving your newfound happiness to your children. Making yourself a priority can be as simple as carving out time in your busy day to take a bath, read a book, or go for a walk. It also means not trying to be the perfect parent, all the time, to compensate for the loss of a two parent household. Children want stability and they get that from happy parents. If it means both parents live in different households they really don’t mind too much. Adjust your expectations to make your life easier and that will in turn make their lives easier too.

Cut yourself some slack

You have been used to managing your life with a partner. Now that you are divorced, you are not only having to manoeuvre the practicalities of life on your own – such as bills, housekeeping, child rearing – but you are probably having to process many negative emotions at the same time. Negative emotions are natural, like any other emotions, they are there to help us process. Ride the wave of them and don’t put yourself under undue pressure to keep it all together, all of the time. You have nothing to prove to yourself or the world. When you catch yourself spiralling into negative thought patterns, negative self-talk or even catastrophizing, stop and think how would you address this if you were talking to your best friend or even to your child? Would you be as harsh? Probably not. You would have words of encouragement and support. Use those same words on yourself. And look at the evidence for where the negative thoughts and the catastrophizing just don’t ring true. Be kind to yourself and cut yourself some slack. Think positive thoughts and practice positive self talk. 

Set Achievable Goals

Setting simple goals to achieve will work wonders for improving your self-esteem. Even completing simple tasks, such as meeting with a friend, or drinking more water every day will help. While achieving goals helps your self-esteem, setting goals that are unrealistic can negatively impact your self-esteem. We suggest breaking your goals into smaller tasks which are more likely to yield success for positive results.

Pick up a hobby

After a divorce, you may find yourself simultaneously with double the workload and no free time on certain days and a vast expanse of free time on other days, especially if you have children and there are days where the children go to the other parent. At the beginning especially, if you have not planned for this free time, it can make you feel lonely or feed into negative coping behaviours. Make plans for that free time that involve other people. A community is our resilience and our source of happiness so picking up a new hobby or recommitting to an old hobby that puts you in touch with people can be a great source of strength. So can taking part in a support group such as “Leaves Dubai” where you meet other people going through the same experiences. Leaves Dubai has been running for 10 years to help people during or post-divorce support each other through this process. It runs every month, on the 3rd Wednesday of the month, at Keyani Clinic in Umm Suqueim, Dubai.

One Life Coaching for Divorce

We all need help navigating our way through divorce. The professionals at One Life Coaching can help. We are passionate about helping our clients overcome the obstacles on their path to living a happy and successful life. We recognize how emotionally charged the divorce process can be – especially in the case of expats, living abroad, without their trusted support network. With over a decade’s experience helping people navigate their Divorce, you can rest assured knowing there is someone you can trust to give you the best guidance. We take great pride in having helped hundreds of clients in the UAE and internationally to navigate their divorce and regain their self-esteem as they embark on this new chapter in life.

When you are ready, please contact a member of our team. We are here for you.

Do you sometimes feel like you don’t deserve your success, that you are maybe an imposter and that people will soon find out that you are a fraud? If you’ve ever thought of these phrases, you may have a case of “Imposter Syndrome”. If you do, you aren’t alone. Studies have shown that nearly 70% of all people feel like an imposter at one time or another. However, when left unmanaged, Imposter Syndrome can lead to a drop in job performance and satisfaction, to increased anxiety and to increased depression.

At One Life Coaching, we are passionate about our clients learning how to live authentic, successful lives, lives in which they are not struggling with the idea of being an imposter.  

So what is Imposter syndrome and what are the best ways to overcome it?

What Is Imposter Syndrome?

First described in the 1970s by researchers Suzanne Imes and Pauline Clance, the term has gained more recognition and understanding in recent years. Individuals with Imposter Syndrome feel an overwhelming sense of self-doubt in their careers or in their personal relationships. They feel an inner sense of being inadequate in their position, even if they are achieving great success. In fact, the more successful they become and the more they are praised, the more Imposter Syndrome increases because the greater the height they feel they might fall from. 

We’ve met anyone and everyone from World renowned Surgeons to CEO’s to successful Politicians who fear being “found out” as not as amazing, competent or adequate as the world believes them to be. 

Individuals struggling with Imposter Syndrome often attribute their success to factors outside their control or to luck whilst inwardly believing that they don’t merit or deserve this success. Despite often being very talented, skilled, and intelligent human beings, they will minimize their abilities and instead worry about being “exposed” as a fraud. This usually comes from a deep-seated feeling that they are undeserving which in turn leads to feelings of guilt of having achieved such success. 

Finding out the root cause of these feelings, which are often buried in our unconscious childhood mind, is paramount in turning Imposter Syndrome off which will lead us to work smarter, not harder, give us healthier boundaries around work, as well as let us and the people around us, enjoy and be genuinely grateful for our successes in a healthy and authentic manner. At One Life Coaching, we are passionate about getting to the root causes of these fears so that we can change our perspectives on them and let them go.

Recognize Imposter Syndrome Can Happen to Anyone

Anyone can struggle with Imposter syndrome and in fact, it is far more common than most people believe. In days gone past people would be ashamed to admit to such a thing but luckily the taboos around it are breaking and far more people are actually talking about experiencing this. It can impact anyone, from professionals and students to highly accomplished people. Like we said above, usually the higher up you get in your profession and the more successful or famous you become, the more Imposter Syndrome will worsen, if left unchecked.  Unsurprisingly celebrities such as Tom Hanks and Maya Angelou have admitted experiencing periods of Imposter Syndrome. Knowing that this feeling of maybe being “found out” and/or exposed as a “fraud” is a common feeling amongst many people is the first step to being able to address it. 

Talk About How You Feel

Feelings of self-doubt, of being a fraud, of being found out are in and of themselves feelings that we want to never talk about.  We often fear that if we do reveal our true feelings we will be “exposed” for being the fraud that we are and worse still even ridiculed and/or rejected or have these fears used against us as a weapon. Therefore these feelings are often kept secret. Our unconscious mind naturally wants to hide them as a means to protect us from our fears. However many of the protection mechanisms that our unconscious mind learnt to put into place to defend us from harm were put into place during our childhood. They may have served us then but no longer serve us now, as adults. And because our conscious mind is such a small percentage of our total brain capacity, we don’t even realize that these thought processes are happening in our heads, we just know not to talk. Unfortunately, internalizing these feelings does not help us to correct these negative thought patterns, on the contrary, it can amplify them precisely because we are not taking them out to understand the reality of what they are and where they come from. When left unmanaged, Imposter Syndrome can impact our mental health leading to procrastination, anxiety and depression; it can impact our physical health because of the stress we are putting ourselves under;  and ultimately it can impact our job performance, our joy in relationships and our overall life satisfaction. Talking with friends, family, or colleagues is a good first step to normalizing how we are feeling but often these people are either personally invested in our lives or don’t have the professional tools to help us deal with the root cause. Talking with a professional who is not only objective but who has the training to get to the bottom of these feelings will help you process them and let them go.

Work Smarter, Not Harder

People struggling with Imposter Syndrome often feel a need to constantly prove themselves, As a result, they feel compelled to work harder than everyone else. They feel pressure to work longer hours, to be “seen” working hard and often find themselves being the first person in the office and the last person to leave. They often feel that “good enough” is not good enough and they spend endless hours on details that in reality do not matter. In other words, they struggle with the negative thought pattern of Perfectionism. This can negatively impact their work/life balance and their ability to set healthy boundaries for themselves. They often want to please others in order to prove that they are “good enough” and so end up allowing others to step over their boundaries and even take advantage of their time and good will. Ultimately this will lower your standards in performance as you begin to feel overwhelmed, maybe even procrastinate so that you are not achieving at all and worst still find yourself burnt out altogether. 

In reality, you can remain productive and successful, and still maintain a normal work/life balance by learning what your own healthy boundaries are and by creating a plan to reach the highest levels of productivity within your boundaries as well as your normal working day.

Acknowledge the Wins, No Matter How Small

Individuals who feel they are Imposters are terrified of failing. This fear of failure not only diminishes our achievements but it also extinguishes the relief that comes from getting the job done. It’s important to recognize that we will make mistakes and that we will at times fail. After all, failure is just a stepstoning to our success, an opportunity for us to learn and progress. Be sure to embrace and learn from failures as well as to celebrate your successes and achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Make sure you attribute your achievements to your own hard work and not minimize them to luck or outside factors.  These victories will in turn make you feel more confident about your own capabilities and the truth of how you are good enough to do the job in hand or enjoy the success you are achieving. It can also begin to change your mindset from a negative one to a positive one which in turn will begin to reduce your anxiety over being found out as a fraud.  The more we acknowledge and believe our wins to be of our own doing the more we can begin to believe that actually, we are good enough to be doing this job or leading this life. 

One Life Coaching

Self-doubt can be paralyzing. These negative thought patterns can be hard to break and overcome. However, you do not have to face this challenge alone. At One Life Coaching, we work with people to overcome their Imposter Syndrome for good. 

We are here to help you with your specific needs and we have the experience to use tools that  personalize the help to those needs rather than trying to put our clients in a generic model of work. We understand each person we work with has a unique past and unique goal for the future. If you are ready to take the next step toward achieving your personal or professional best self, we can help! We are passionate about helping our clients overcome the obstacles on their path to living a happy, successful and authentic life. 

Contact us to learn more.

When you get married you take a vow to share everything in life – from major decisions that impact finances and child-rearing to minor decisions that impact your day-to-day life as a couple. You vow to constantly put your spouse’s best interest at the same priority as yours – after all that is the definition of trust, putting your loved ones’ best interest at the same level as yours.  You vow to make the choice to commit to your spouse and to the relationship each and every day. 

However, when you get divorced you not only need to adjust to the loss of this partnership. both grieving what has passed as well as grieving the future plans you had constructed together for real or in your imaginations, you need to adjust to making life decisions solo as a new you – older and hopefully wiser.  Where you once had a partner, you are now navigating career, finances, family, and eventually dating all on your own. Understandably this can feel completely overwhelming.

Luckily you do not have to face this challenging time alone. The professionals at One Life Coaching can help you develop a growth mindset as well as coach you through the steps needed to regain a balanced life – for you and, where applicable, for your children too. 

We’ve put together this helpful list of tips to help you start to regain your balance as you embark on this next chapter of your life.

Accept the reality of your situation

As you move forward with life after divorce, there will be many things that you will enjoy regaining control of in a way that suits your values and beliefs, as well as difficult situations that you have to learn to let go of control over. Learn to put your energies into what you can control and let go of what you can’t. For example, you are likely to be a single income household now – this you can control by budgeting in the short term and in the long term, when you are ready,  looking for a different job if necessary, retraining, or even changing directions in your career. If you have children, you will now most likely have a co-parenting agreement or one parent will have custody whilst the other has visitation. When you share your children, there will more than likely be two sets of parenting values and boundaries in each household. This you can’t control. At first this may seem extremely difficult as one set of values in one household may contradict the other set of values in the other household. Rest assured that children are extremely resilient and adaptable when it comes to this. Remember when you were young and moved from classroom to classroom at school and adapted to each teacher’s classroom rules? Children of divorced parents quickly learn the rules in their different households too. Focus your energy on what you can control – on establishing healthy values and boundaries in your household when your children are with you.

Find Activities That Feed Your Soul and Bring You Happiness

When you get married you choose to commit to your partner each and every day. That often means dedicating a great deal of time and energy, not to mention emotional support,  to your spouse. You engage in joint activities as well as supporting them in their own pursuits and them in yours. You may even do things you don’t like in order to support them in their passions and vice-versa.  Now that you are single, use this time to re-evaluate your own goals and desires. Work on finding the pursuits that make you truly happy and feed your soul. Carve out some positive time for yourself. Whether it’s finding your way back to forgotten hobbies or embarking on something new, it will help you not only understand yourself better in this new role but you may even make some new friends along the way.

Set Financial Goals

Aside from the emotional confrontations that divorce can bring, it can also be a huge financial challenge. More often than not you are going from a two-income to a single-income household. Depending on your previous living arrangements this may even be the first time that you are discovering how to pay bills, budget and handle the finances on your own.  From paying rent, and servicing the car, to affording the day-to-day amenities of life, this transition can feel overwhelming. However, once you have mastered it, it can also be a life-empowering move.

Start by detailing your monthly expenses for your household, your children if there are any, and for yourself. Make sure you are not just looking at the basics such as food and bills but also account for your personal grooming, your leisure and those small pleasures such as that quick takeaway coffee you are used to once a day. The more you track your spending in detail the more you will feel in control. There are many apps that help you take into account what you spend as you spend it so that it doesn’t become a chore. Also take into account such things as debt repayments, retirement contributions, saving plans and maintenance payments if you have any.  Depending on your specific circumstances, you may have to make spending cuts, to begin with, but don’t fall into the negative trap of thinking this will be forever. Spending cuts are there, to begin with as a critical component to reaching your goals. 

The important thing is to remember that it will get better with planning and with time. Establishing financial goals as well as aspirational goals in life will keep you focused as you work towards achieving your best life.

Learn to say Yes and learn to say No!

During your marriage, you may not only have shared the pleasures but you may have also shared the chores. If the chores were always solely your responsibility you will find yourself with less work and more time on your hands as you now only have yourself, or yourself and your children to cater for. If however, you did share the chores, you may find yourself with less free time. Either way, you may find the absence of emotional support hard to deal with, the absence of that certain someone who you could share your day with, share your successes as well as your challenges with and share your worries. You will need to find this emotional support in your community, amongst your friends or from your family. This is the time to reach out for help, be it a couple of hours that a friend watches your children whilst you get some “me” time to a family member cooking some meals to put in your freezer to your bestie coming round to listen to you vent with no judgment. Say yes to all the help. People help because they care about you as well as deriving their own pleasure in doing so. Allow them.  Dedicate your free time to the things you love, the people you love and the activities that enrich your life. Whilst re-balancing your new life, this is not the time to over-commit yourself to others. Look at what is important to you right now and learn to say no to what is not. You can go back to being the person people lean on once you’ve found your own new balance and strength, which you will. After all, you can’t give the best of yourself to your loved ones and the people you care for until you have made yourself into the best version of yourself first. 

One Life Coaching for Divorce

At One Life Coaching, we recognize how emotionally challenging the divorce process and life after divorce can be – especially in the case of expats, living abroad, without their trusted support network. Whether you need help navigating the challenges of your marital split or regaining your self-confidence and independence after your divorce, the professionals at One Life Coaching can help. 

With over a decade’s experience helping people navigate their divorce, we take great pride in having provided hundreds of clients in the UAE and internationally the tools to navigate their divorce and regain their self-esteem so that they embark on this new chapter of life fully equipped for success. When you are ready, please contact a member of our team. We are here for you.