Just as you budget how you spend your money to stay on track financially, you should also budget your time to keep your mental health on track. While this may seem obvious, many people struggle with saying “no” when someone asks them for their time. Throw in a hectic work schedule and managing family commitments, and all of a sudden finding balance in your busy life may seem impossible.
If you feel like you are burning the candle at both ends, it’s time to take a step back and breathe. It’s time to reevaluate your priorities and create more balance.
Be realistic with your time
You are only human, and there are only so many hours in the day. It will eventually overwhelm you if you are cramming too much into your schedule. Start by understanding the essentials of your schedule (i.e., the things you have to do). For example, your work hours, extracurricular activities, weekly appointments, etc. Once you understand the fundamentals of your schedule, you will better understand what free time you have for other activities and commitments. It is also important to carve out some personal time to relax and decompress. Whether it’s reading a book, taking a relaxing bath, or scheduling a massage, be sure to set aside time for yourself.
Say no without feeling guilty
We all feel obligated to say yes when we are asked to help, volunteer, or attend a social event. However, it is okay to say no when you are busy. The feeling that we “should” do something can create a pang of guilt that is hard to avoid. It can make us feel obligated to commit to things we do not have time for or do not want to do. So say no, and do not feel guilty. It is within your rights to not feel social, not want to attend, or not want to volunteer your time. And just because you say yes the first time, it does not mean you have to say yes the second time (and vice versa). Saying no allows you to take the pressure off yourself and focus on activities with people who fulfil your life.
But that’s easier said than done, I hear you say, the guilt appears regardless. The trick to ridding ourselves of unnecessary guilt is to change that specific guilt into gratitude. Rather than feeling guilty that you have to say no, be grateful that you were valued enough to be asked in the first place and that there are people who appreciate and want your time. And if it is something that you may want to do when your schedule is less busy, say so. You’ll be surprised by just how other people actually are understanding, as well as appreciating your clarity and honesty.
Make healthy choices for you, according to your fundamental values and goals
When we make choices that bring us closer to what’s essential in our life, we start to bring into being that sense of calm and purpose that we all search for. Sometimes this requires making sacrifices in other areas of our lives. For example, if one of your goals for the year is to dedicate more time to your family and you, therefore, want to take your family away for the weekend, you may need to sacrifice your gym time or dinner with friends to make space for your weekend away with your family. Balance is all about making choices that will match your values and match your goals.
Choose quality over quantity
Balance comes down to choosing quality over quantity. We often view balance in life as how much time we dedicate to things. However, it’s actually about how much effort we put into the events or into people, and not just the amount of time. Ultimately, spending time with friends and family doesn’t mean much if you are looking at your phone the entire time. Half an hour of being truly present with your children, partner, or friends is always worth more than three hours of time spent in the same geographical space whilst mentally giving your energy to whoever is on the other side of the phone. When you offer your time to others, make it a true offering. This can be something as small as setting your phone to silent and giving them your undivided attention. This is just as important also when you are carving out some self-care time for yourself – to meditate, read a book or take a relaxing bath for example – put your phone on silent and truly prioritize yourself.
Balance is also about making sure you are not prioritizing work over all else. Your work colleagues or boss are not who is going to be by your bedside in your dying days, your loved ones will. While it can be challenging to step away from your work entirely, setting boundaries during specific hours is possible. When you are with your loved ones or dedicating time to yourself, you want to make the most of your time. This means remaining active, present, and engaging with your loved ones or with yourself. Whether it’s for a few minutes or a few hours, this allows you to get more out of your time.
Stay organized
We live in a world where demands on our time are more and more pervasive. From employers without boundaries to the addiction of social media, staying organized is key to maintaining balance. Making a plan which prioritizes your time into the right areas to meet your goals for the year is therefore paramount. This is especially true for working parents who are managing multiple schedules in addition to their own. So if exercise is a priority in your life, for example, plan specific but realistic times each week to exercise and stick to it. While planning may feel like the opposite of balance, it helps ensure you have time for what you want to do. With that being said, it is also important to be spontaneous sometimes. Spontaneity is great for maintaining balance.
Seek guidance and help
When we are looking to be the best version of ourselves, we often face a wide range of obstacles to overcome, both from the past and present. This can make finding balance in a busy life difficult to achieve, especially when we haven’t brought to consciousness the values we wish to live our life by or the goals we wish to achieve, based on these values. Are you navigating a difficult divorce which is bringing feelings of an uncertain future? Do you want to change your career but are stuck as to how. Or perhaps you simply seek to create more balance in an overloaded life, where you can’t see the woods from the trees. Regardless of the reason, the professionals at One Life Coaching are here to help you navigate the path to the next chapter of your life with a lighter load. We are passionate about helping our clients overcome the obstacles to living a happy and successful and ultimately peaceful life. If you’re ready to take the next step toward realizing your dreams, contact a member of our team.
We look forward to hearing from you.